I knew motherhood was going to come at me. guns a blazin, but I had no idea it was gonna be a damn firing squad! Wheres my cigarette and blindfold?
So, I have to start off by saying, these last few months have been the most draining, fun, enfuriating, and love filled days of my entire life. But sometimes, I cant help but feel like I am the Peter parker of motherhood. One day Im happy and pregnant, the next I am bringing a baby to a completely EMPTY house, livin with baby daddy on our own for the first time, and then as if by some magical force, POOF! Two more kiddos added to the mix. Thats a heck of a lot of life changes in a span of not even enough time for the stretch marks to start fading.
I feel some sort of understanding and empathy for octo-mom now. Its like I had triplets, except they are all a year apart. These guys are still learnin the basics of being little humans, and all STILL IN DIAPERS. My life is one big feed, clean, change diapers, feed again kind of cycle. Times 3.
Most moms are eased into motherhood with their first born. They slowly learn how to adapt and proceed to the next step. But thats not how I roll. Im learning how to potty train all in the same week Im learning how to properly wrap up a diaper to minimize blow out-age. My first born is learning how to smile, while my oldest is in his terrible twos, Learning how to sneak into my bedroom, open up 50-kagillion windows on my computer, all while simultaneously spilling apple juice on my bed, UNDER the covers, and bilssfully yelling NOOOOOO at the top of his lungs when I ask him to stop.
Oh. And then, there is the girl. The sweet, beautiful little angel girl. Until you get her angry that is. Then you get a cross between a cute little blonde daughter, and an angry, slightly strangled seagull who somehow managed to swallow a car alarm. It starts off with a " Eeeeeek-squak-rowwww-roww-WwwwwaaaaahhhhHHHHHHH..." and progresses from there. This chicks got some lungs on her.
Oh, and the little one isnt innocent at the least. Nope, he is the one who wakes mommy up at night howling, til I walk in and start rocking/soothing him. At which time he either rips one or pukes right down my shirt, which results in a fit of laughter and the almost immediate ability to fall back asleep, while I lay awake and wonder how this mini-human already has so much of his fathers sense of humor. And how am I gonna survive with another mini-nick running around.
By 3 a.m. Im usually exhausted, and ready to gauge my eyes out with a rusty spork, but then it hits me... Im a MOM.
This journey is amazing. These kiddos are pure entertainment value, and even at their most rotten, they are my heart. I love this crazy crash course I took into motherhood. I love all the shifts and changes, and I got this, I can do it.
I might have a few minor melt-downs ( usually involving me sitting in the bedroom clutching a chocolate chip cookie, and snarling at anyone who comes close to the door) But, thats okay. Because the next time I have a horrific moment, where I wonder if that was really chocolate I just licked off my wrist, or kid poop, I will remember that its all a part of motherhood.
And I freaking love it.
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