Saturday, September 10, 2011

Can you hear me now?

Okay, I am going to try very hard not to turn this post into a hormonal rant, because I did that a few days ago while writing a post, and WHOA buddy, it was literally borderline evil. Talking about finally having a guy with a penis that works among other various man-bashing statements, but honestly, if I spoke out with that much brutality Im sure I would never hear the end of it from a few people out there I know. SO, gonna take a deep breath and eat a few chocolate cookies so Im not just psycho-bitchy mama here. :)

What I would like to talk about today though, is people not taking the time to rememeber that you exist. I really honestly dont know what happened after my divorce.. I mean, your husband decides to stop loving you and all of the sudden all the friends ( with the exception of two or three AMAZING ones) decide they are going to blissfully turn their backs and decide to act like you never existed. If these people were trying to "punish" me for not living up to the perfect standard they had set, then It worked. Im still stinging from that one. Not only did I have the rug torn out from under me in the worst possible way, but for the most part every single person that was there, and KNEW how much pain I was in during my marriage, turned their back. I tried to be understanding or ignorant of the situation for a long while, but now all I want to say, is karma is a B*tch suckas. Oh yeah, you know that eventually its going to turn around on ya, thats why whenever you see me or hear about me you act like your ashamed. Its very deserved though, and for the first time ever, I wont be handing any more sympathy out. Sorry. ( not really. Bitches.).

And the other thing thats been bugging me, the people who think I should just shut up and be over things. Easy for you to say when you have NO idea how much hurt I went through, and how drastically my life changed in the matter of just a few days. Its not like Im still mourning getting that loser I was married to out of my life, because a girl can only be lied to and munipulated so much before what you deal with just turns pathetic. But it hasent even been a year... you tried to make me feel guilty for still crying not even a month into it, thats a bit harsh. See, theres this thing, called empathy. Look it up.

Now, I know that I have so much more to look forward to in the future, but I cant help but feel like Im starting my entire life over again from scratch. And thats scary! I mean, to have gone through all I have in my life, Id either HAVE to be a tough broad, or a complete basket case, and seeing as the nice men with the pretty white coat havent carried me off yet, I have to have some sort of a backbone working for me, But jeezzzzzz. Im a 22 year old divorced, unmarried pregnant woman who is still trying to figure all the details out for taking care of herself in the short ammount of time i have until my child comes. Holy crap. Its insane, and for the most part, Im currently doing most of this alone. So, people, if you see someone having a hard time, or struggling a little, cut them a little slack! One of these days its going to be you in pain, and I gurantee you, the one or two people who stand beside you, will truly be the ones you bring you back to life. Just remember that.